Wine Recommendation from this Episode: 2018 Educated Guess, Cabernet Sauvignon
California Photographer mentioned, Marcy Browe.
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Prefer to read? I gotchu, check out the below.
In the beginning of 2019, I had a strong urge to try stand-up comedy. It wasn’t THAT far-fetched considering I’m a speaker and I’m comfortable on stages. My friends, however, often told me I was a terrible storyteller, and I wasn’t really the funny one in the group. I have a different sense of humor which is to be determined if it’s funny or not. Stay tuned ☺️.
One evening my boyfriend Dustin and I were driving to meet a couple of friends for dinner and I told him, “I think I want to try stand-up comedy”. He started hysterically laughing. Like, laughing really…hard….
I followed up with, “See, I’m funny!”.
I was a little shocked at how long he laughed, and how hard he was laughing. He thought it was a crazy idea because I’m not that funny and I’m bad at telling stories.
I blew it off, we got to the restaurant, sat down with our two friends, I got wine (duh!), and shared my idea with the table. BOTH friends started laughing, like sincere belly laughs. They thought my idea was crazy. What the fuck!? Am I seriously that terrible at telling a story or joke?! Am I just a boring, professional, business owner? ?
I left that evening a little surprised and let the idea fade away until December of that year.
Dustin and I were on vacation in Utah, we stayed at a hotel that was basically at the front gate of Zion National Park. It was gorgeous. The hotel backed to a long range of tall, beautiful red rocks and one morning I bundled up, grabbed a coffee, and went outside on the patio. No one else was there except for a squirrel in the trash can that made his appearance 10 minutes after I sat down and scared the shit out of me!! If anyone saw me jump then THEY’D think I was pretty funny ?.
Anyways, I put on a meditation, put my feet up on the fire pit, and closed my eyes. The meditation led me through a visualization of me doing whatever I wanted, finding what motivates you.There was no judgement, bills didn’t exist, I didn’t have to learn anything new, I could just start doing what I wanted and I’d be amazing at it.
I felt so free in this meditation and I couldn’t help but have a vision of me on stage making people laugh. I went back to the idea of being a stand-up comedian.
A few hours later Dustin and I went on a hike and I contemplated if I should tell him about my vision because last time it didn’t go as planned. I decided to share because let’s be real, I share EVERYTHING, I can’t help myself. I love communicating, I’m a Gemini, I have to talk through everything. So I start to tell him but I begin by saying, “I don’t want you to laugh at me or think I’m crazy. I’m saying this sincerely” and he said “ok”. So I shared, “I want to be a stand-up comedian”.
He was silent for a moment and then said, “ok, do it”. Dustin is NOT the communication guy, he’s the action guy. He doesn’t want to talk about what he’s going to do, he just wants to do it and he thinks that’s how everyone should operate. There are some benefits to this way of thinking, but sometimes I just want him to talk through ideas with me versus say, “ok, do it!”.
So we talked about it for a little bit, he kept asking what jokes will I tell and I didn’t know. I just felt pulled to do it and interested in it. I have to say in the past when I tell a joke on stage and people laugh at it, it’s an amazing feeling. It’s fulfilling to make people laugh, and I thought if I could get paid to make people laugh and make them happier, then that would be amazing.
Well, two weeks later Dustin got me a Christmas gift, supporting my dream of being a comedian…kind of. More on this in a bit, it’s pretty funny actually. But I want to talk about this desire to make people laugh. That’s something that fulfills me and motivates me. It’s something I want to achieve with Crystal Uncorked.
If I can make someone have fun, laugh, learn something new and/or feel inspired, then I’ve succeeded.
Over the past several years I feel like I’ve been on a journey of figuring out what fulfills me and what I want in my life. At the end of 2018, I hired a business coach and the first question he asked during our first session was, “What motivates you?”.
I quickly said money, because I am someone who is very motivated by money. I love money!!! So I answered and said, “Money. And…..” and I laughed a little bit. He said that was normal, that most people know they want and need money but there are other things we’re motivated by and it was important for him to know what mine are in order to best coach me.
I told him I was also motivated by recognition.
It felt a little weird saying that out loud, I was worried he’d think I wanted a lot of attention or always needed praise and that’s not the case at all. There are just times after I do something that I think is a big deal, that I want people cheering for me. Like really excited, saying “you are fucking amazing, Crystal!!!” And maybe that’s a little ego talking, but it’s something I like, I like recognition. I want to win awards. I want to be on stage making people laugh. I just like that kind of acknowledgment.
It’s funny because I was listening to Brene Brown’s podcast called Unlocking Us, and Dax Sheppard was a guest and he said the same thing!! I laughed out loud on my walk. He said how he wanted people to just bow down and say how he’s the best thing ever. I loved how honest he was and how he just owned it, I can totally relate.
I watch awards shows and cry all the time, even if someone I don’t know wins.
Or when there are moments in a show or movie when someone is getting a big cheer, I’m holding back hysterically crying. I just can’t help it, I think it’s amazing when people get recognized and it’s something that motivates me, too.
After my coach asked me “what motivates you” I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I would observe everything I was doing to see if it was fulfilling or draining and I realized I wasn’t balanced. The fulfillment I was looking for just wasn’t there. This gave me clarity on who I am, and what I need in my life and business to be more aligned, and live in more of a flow state.
This is such an important question to know the answer to so I encourage you to spend some time answering the below:
What motivates me?
Makes me so excited I can’t sleep?
Gets me in a state of pure alignment and fulfillment?
When’s a time I felt at my highest? What was it about that moment that felt so amazing?
I really believe that when we’re doing things that motivate us and fill us up, life is so much easier!
It’s more fun, we have more energy, things seem to fall into place and we’re just aligned. At least that’s how I’ve felt since I started this show/podcast/blog. ❤️
So there’s a chance I try some jokes on Crystal Uncorked. Hell, maybe I’ll even do a stand-up night on Instagram Live. If you would watch something like this would you let me know by leaving a comment below? Haha that could either be a lot of fun or totally a flop. I feel like that would be hard because no one would be there to laugh, I’d have to add in a Zoom component or something. We’ll see….
So are you dying to know the gift Dustin got me for Christmas two weeks after our hike in Zion when I said I want to try stand-up comedy?!
I hope so, cause here we go!
He got me a notebook titled “300 More Writing Prompts” to help me with story and joke ideas, which I thought was so incredibly sweet (and helpful!). Inside the book was a ticket to a May 28th, 2020 Open Mic Night in San Diego. He told me I have a secured spot, and the better I do the more time I’ll get. He said that 13 of our friends would be in the audience, and they were all sworn to secrecy so he recommended I don’t ask them because no one will tell me if they’re going or not.
I was freaking out.
It was becoming real. In six months I’d be performing in front of friends and strangers. It was exciting, but also terrifying. And I felt special, I loved that Dustin went ahead and booked this for me, and invited people. I felt like he believed in me. Of course, I told all my family about this gift and it was so funny, everyone I told had a joke for me. Like, everyone had one, it was really funny.
We always host Christmas so several friends came over later and I kept saying to them, “I know you know about what Dustin got me.” And they’d look at me so confused and say “know what?” and I’d say “about the comedy show” and they’d look even more confused and say “what comedy show?” and I’d say “ooooo you’re good! Dustin told me you were sworn to secrecy and no one would say anything. But I know you know.” And then they’d either look down, half-smile at Dustin, or a few said “no I don’t know and I’m pissed I don’t know! Am I not invited!?”
Well my friend, there’s a twist. The joke was on me, there wasn’t actually a booked gig.
It was completely made up. Dustin didn’t tell any of our friends. He got to watch me go around saying “I know you know” and see how puzzled they all were, secretively cracking up inside. He said he was going to book something when it got closer and follow through with his idea, but then COVID happened and nothing was open. Can you believe him!?
So like I said, maybe I’ll do something here through Crystal Uncorked because I do want to make people laugh, or at least I want to try out stand-up and see if I’m really that terrible like everyone thinks I’ll be.
On a serious note, please make sure you make time for yourself to dig a little deep and see what motivates you, and I encourage you to keep doing this because it can evolve over time. It also takes time to incorporate new motivations if you’re not currently following those desires and passions, just be patient and take a small step closer each day (or it might take years as it did for me, and that’s ok!).
Head on over to the next episode where the jokester himself, Mr. Dustin Peyser will join us for some thought-provoking Q&A, and he’ll answer the most frequently asked question, Why aren’t we married?
I’ll see you on the next CU! Cheers!