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Are you guilty of scheduling and planning things more because you’re afraid to miss them than because they’re actually something you need or want to do? I know I am. I get caught up in FOMO. But recently when I had a full schedule and cancellations were bringing me so much relief, I was reminded of JOMO, The Joy of Missing Out.
Too often we get caught up in our schedules and places we think we should be and things we think we should do. We get tied to our obligations and responsibilities even in times we should be taking for ourselves. I recently saw a study of a group of employees in which 70% admitted they do not disconnect from work during their vacation. VACATION!! We need to make the things that really matter a priority and stop wasting our time on things based on fear of missing out and instead embrace the JOY of missing out.
Six Tips for Embracing JOMO (Psychology Today)
- Be Intentional with your time
- Give permission to live in the present
- Embrace tech-free time
- Practice saying “No”
- Experience REAL life, not just social media life
- Slow Down
I have my own way of implementing these tips that work for me but there are so many ways you can make these work for your life. Embracing the JOMO can make room for self-care, improve creativity, and allow time for the things you are truly passionate about. How do you embrace the JOMO? Send me a DM and let me know!
See you on the next CU!
- What is “JOMO”?
- How missing out can actually bring joy and increase productivity.
- How a full schedule can create burnout and overwhelm.
- Six Tips for Embracing JOMO.
Mentioned in this Episode:
JOMO: The Joy of Missing Out | Psychology Today
EVOLVE 2023 in Denver, CO – Crystal Media
Crystal on Instagram
Crystal Media on Instagram
Crystal Media Co – YouTube
I’m sure you’ve heard of fomo before the fear of missing out but have you heard of Jomo the joy of missing out that is a term that I recently heard from my friend Christina and it has been something that has been so lovely to embrace within my life and so I am going to share what’s been going on for me and give you some really great tips to help you embrace the joy of missing out so let’s dive in are you ready to open up and talk about all things business I’m Crystal Vilkaitis a curious entrepreneur who loves talking about business especially over a glass of wine I started Crystal and cork to share open and honest conversations about my journey and talk to other entrepreneurs about their experiences we pull back the curtain and talk about the highs and the lows wine isn’t required but is recommended this is Crystal uncorked
I don’t know about you but I am definitely somebody who struggles with fomo the fear of missing out I want to be involved in all the social activities I want to go to all of the zooms and the webinars that I’ve signed up for I even see like free stuff that comes through my email and I’m like oh that topic I need to know that topic um I want to just know it all be a part of it all and I don’t want to miss out and so um I that means that I’m subscribing to go to a lot of things and I’m I’m binging on all sorts of content which I’ve talked about in a couple weeks ago um kind of trying to tune some of that out and that really is going along with this whole Jomo um mentality and how I learned about this is you know last week I think it was I had a insanely busy schedule um lots of interviews lots of meetings lots of training webinars appointments and I was going into the week it was Monday morning and the we it already felt so incredibly heavy and I was like dreading the week it I kind of had like a crabby attitude about it all because I was just so annoyed that my schedule was just so full because I am somebody who I really need space like I just I really appreciate space in my schedule it allows me to be more creative it allows me to think I like flexibility um and so when it’s so packed I don’t love that but I am somebody who loves always doing something so that’s kind of funny but I just want it to be a little bit more flexible and a little bit more on my terms so Monday morning happens and all of a sudden I have a call from the dentist office the dentist is sick so I couldn’t go in that last week so that got canceled she’s like thank you so much for understanding and I’m like oh no problem at all because I’m like thank goodness something got canceled right I was like yes it is freeing up um and then a two Crystal and corked interviews had to get rescheduled because people were sick and I was like yes okay this is great like so happy about that then another appointment of mine got canceled and then I decided not to go to a couple of the live trainings I was going to go to and boom all of a sudden I had at least six hours back on my schedule oh and there was a social event we were gonna go to this like fundraiser at a dinner theater with our friends um and that was going to be a couple hours and I was just like usually I love doing that kind of stuff but I was just looking at this calendar I’m like I don’t want to do any of this I just need a break I need some space I need some time well that dinner got canceled too and now we’re gonna go with my friends Vine Christina both who have been on the show and I’m like Christina like oh I I’m actually so happy that that got canceled and she’s like see Jomo like she constantly remind me of Jomo I I totally will forget about it and so now I’ve been embracing it more and thinking about it more and looking at my calendar and saying like do I really need to go to this is this something I need to go to or is this something that I have a fear of missing out on and so I’m going to it um it’s really allowed me to be more thoughtful with my meetings and my time how I’m spending my energy because at the at the end of the day we all have a certain amount of energy right and if we are using it all up on all sorts of the stuff because of our fomo that doesn’t actually fill up our cup doesn’t actually connect to what we are wanting to do then we’re going to run out of all this energy we’re gonna be exhausted we’re gonna look back at the day and be like what was that all for what did I accomplish I’m completely drained and we keep pushing away the things that were really crazy leaving and we’re really wanting and so um we have to be really strategic with our energy I recently heard somebody say that it’s not about not having enough time it’s about having enough energy and if you start thinking that way and notice your day notice how you’re feeling notice your schedule but also your energy and where you’re able to show up and provide and what you’re able to do when we just don’t have the energy we are not going to be creative to create our social media posts to write our emails to create the next marketing campaign to think creatively and how we can work with our partners how we want to do things within our business like we’re just so exhausted so we just kind of do the admin work or the bare minimum or we just like Shuffle things around because we’re working we’re being productive when we’re actually really not doing [ ] right because we don’t have the energy so I feel like Jomo and missing out on some things and really embracing that and getting comfortable with it can really help us find the energy and also connect with what is important to us and so um I read a interesting stat recently by LinkedIn they surveyed um a bunch of employees I don’t know how many employees but of the people that responded 70 of them did not disconnect from work when they were on vacation they still worked on vacation and the thing that’s I think is really hard in today’s society is because we are so connected through our social media and through email and texting um you know you hear about digital detoxes and those are real necessary needed thing because we are so connected we are so tapped in we don’t want to be missing out on anything right we want to be connected in we even want to be working while we’re on vacation and I am guilty as charged there too but when I make very conscious efforts of unplugging disconnecting removing the app signing out of the email hiding the email icon on my phone and just totally disconnecting that is when I can really relax and I often find I have better answers to the questions I had going into vacation in and I also have new sense of creativity because I gave myself that space to do it so uh we need to there’s pressures from society there’s pressures from people sometimes our bosses um other people in our lives and then of course there is that fear of missing out and so that just has us running 5 000 miles an hour and we’re not really slowing down for the joy of missing out for Jomo so I found a really great article on psychology today that shares some tips to embrace Jomo that I wanted to share that I thought were just great things to remind all of us and so the first one is to be intentional with your time to schedule things that are important to you whether it’s working out meeting with a friend writing a book we just really have to make sure that these are priorities and we are getting them on the calendar now I don’t know if you’re like me but if it is not scheduled it does not exist I I move really fast I forget a lot of things so I need to write things down and put it on the calendar otherwise it will never happen so if I’m wanting to let’s say write a book and I talk about I talk about I talk about it because I have been for a while I just feel this need to write but if I’m not building anything within my schedule to actually write it’s never going to get done and then what ends up happening is that that feeling of like gosh why am I pushing this off why am I pushing this off just do it get to it and I get really frustrated with myself and then sometimes I will blame my schedule or all these other meetings um oh there’s just no time or I have no energy left when I am the creator of my schedule I can schedule in first thing in the morning or right after my walk that writing time but instead it will often get taken for other tasks and so what I’m learning is it’s really about changing my habits and the current structure of my day to create a new structure and change can be uncomfortable and it can be hard but I have my mapped out it’s behind the camera of what Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday looks like because something that’s important to me is creating content for social media for this show I really want to build the show and I love creating content I find it to be a lot of fun but I need to have the space in order to do that so I feel like I’ve got time I get those creative juices going and look if you create content you know it takes some time you have to re-record stuff you’re editing things it just takes time so you need that space so I had to actually schedule that in because otherwise I’m never getting it done now in full transparency because that’s what we do here at Crystal and corked I have not implemented this written calendar into my computer calendar on Asana I am still following mice on a calendar putting in the meetings and and just doing the same old thing so I have not created the change yet I haven’t broken that habit and so my plan of action is that we’re going on a little road trip that my mom and aunt are going to come visit me then we have Thanksgiving and so beginning of December when this episode drops I will have already blocked and implemented this so I can start living it in December I just can’t do it immediately right away and so I think that’s a really good thing for us all to think about is change doesn’t happen overnight get really clear on what it is that you want to do why are you want to create that space what is that space going to be used for schedule it in and just know that it might take a couple weeks or months even a couple months to get to that place that you’re feeling really good about the schedule and the new the new structure of your day it does take time but you’ve got to start somewhere so for me I am being a little patient with myself and giving myself a little bit of Grace but I know that I have a plan and I feel really good about that but here’s what’s funny I totally have fomo that I’m not creating content I’m not creating as much content as I want to be and as I know that I should be in order to be at where I want to be with this show and so it’s fomo and I’m comparing myself to other people I’m seeing what they’re doing and how often they’re creating and they’re pumping out the content and I am like I am falling behind I am not relevant the as one more day goes by that’s another day that I’ve missed that opportunity to grow and put myself out there and build my community and so it is a struggle to give yourself that Grace to be patient and know that it is coming and that you can’t just make this complete shift immediately typically you can’t do that typically you need that time so be intentional with your time the second one is um give yourself permission to live in the present and uh kind of connects with what we were just talking about they’re saying if you have a bad day be easy on yourself and have a relaxing evening if you just receive good news take a moment to celebrate it you know we move so fast in today’s world that we are just like oh cool we got this new gig awesome okay anyways oh man now my email inbox is like 5 000 emails I have to go through I’m so annoyed I have so much to do life is so busy what are we gonna have for dinner I have to take the dogs to the vet there’s not you know they’re not eating their food I have to change the food all like and it’s like whoa you just got a cool new gig why don’t you celebrate that for a second like let’s be in the present moment let’s enjoy the present moment uh I have been that’s been coming up for me a lot um in therapy and just on some trainings I’m in and I’m realizing that I’m just like really looking ahead versus really being in the moment and taking that second the other day because I had some of those meetings cancel um I was sitting on my couch and I was just like looking out at the little farm across the way not doing anything it was on my phone I didn’t have music on I was just staring out the window and I’m like this is exactly what my soul needs I just gotta stare for 10 minutes like just allowing myself the permission to be present and then I kind of listen to what what are the sounds that I’m hearing what are the colors that I’m seeing what birds am I seeing fly and just to let your mind like have that break it is so energizing and some might say that that’s almost a form of meditation which can also help fill our cup back up give us that creativity give us that energy back that we need we can take a little bit of time to give us that additional energy to really get stuff done so we have to take those moments um they also say if you feel that you are in constant competition with someone on social media then reassess why you feel this way and that is an important question instead of getting caught up of like oh well now they’re doing that now they’re doing this like these influencers that I see all the content they’re pumping out getting really clear why is it that I am competing why is it that I’m feeling fomo answering those questions and then like recalibrating and just sticking into my lane this is what works for my life right now they have a different schedule than I do they have a different a completely different life than I do a lot of these influencers that’s their job is content creation I run a business you know so there are a lot of meetings like it’s it’s a completely different life it’s not a fair comparison at all so we have to just get really clear like why am I comparing and and have some Grace with ourselves and and get that clarity the next thing that psychology today says is Embrace Tech free times and uh this is absolutely a hard one I think because for me personally one of my checkouts like when I have a break I go to tick tock and that’s where I get my news and my entertainment and I scroll I found that I watch a lot less TV over the past six months because I’m watching Tick Tock it’s my entertainment now and it gives me that break like that mental break that I feel like I crave especially after lunch time to just you know like check out for a second and the thing is is what can happen is I’m not controlling that content that’s coming to me especially on Tick Tock it’s all curated for me and so sometimes it can be negative things it can be down or it can be depressing it can be a waste of my time I don’t need to see a ton of people doing dance videos um and then it can also create that compare and I compare comparing itis I’ve heard that somewhere I think comparing nidus I’m probably saying it wrong but where I’m just comparing myself to these content creators um and so you know we to have that break I think it’s a really important to understand like what you’re doing with social and how long you’re going to be on it so one thing that I recently did is you can set a limit and I set a 45 minute limit on Tick Tock something you might be like oh my God how are you possibly scrolling for 45 minutes and some of you might be like that’s it that’s all you scroll for but for me it was 45 and then at that point asked me to put in my password but then if I just put in my password I can keep scrolling the thing I like about it is it’s like holy [ ] it’s been 45 minutes you don’t realize how long it’s been because you’re just scrolling scrolling scrolling and it can just be a complete time suck so I really recommend putting in a timer um I also talked about how like when I went on vacation I deleted the apps and then I hid my email app on my phone just so you couldn’t like easily get to it or see it out of sight out of mind really helped me as well um and so yeah that’s uh Embrace Tech free times next up is practicing saying no and you know this is a great example where I was like no I’m not going to go to some of these trainings and I started looking at my calendar I’m like is there anything that I can’t move get rid of or just not even do you don’t have to say yes to every single thing even socially and this is where I really struggle because I want to be a part of everything but you know sometimes I just need that that day that break I had such a wonderful the past two weeks I’ve been doing self-care on Friday nights and just doing masks and stretching and drinking teas and lemon water and um just like going slow I took a bath last week it was just so incredible and I’m loving those days and instead of like meeting friends up for dinner or going wine tasting or you know going to an escape room all that’s really fun but if I do too much of that and not enough of the self-care stuff and just slowing down then I’m really out of balance and then that’s where it’s really hard for me to have the energy I need for the week ahead or even just the weekend and doing my chores and things like that uh Psychology today also said that um experience real life not social media life and so again going back to the time suck of the scrolling and the drama on social media uh instead disconnect do things like cooking spending time Outdoors games with friends and family is a big one for me I love it um my nutritional therapist and friend Michelle Wolford gave me a great um thing to do in those moments of like I’m bored what should I do instead of picking up that phone and scrolling she said write down a bunch of activities on little piece of paper fold them put them in a jar and then when you have some time instead of picking up the phone go and pick that out you know one of those activities and so on there I put like dancing going for a walk playing games um journaling singing writing I feel like I have like 10 different things on there and um reading and so then you just take one of those and you do it you know because sometimes it’s so easy just grab our phone open our favorite app and scroll it’s so easy don’t make me make another decision today I’m tired I don’t have the energy so if I don’t have the energy I’m gonna do the easiest thing for me to get done which is open my phone and start scrolling so make it easy make a little jar and this could be fun to do with your spouse uh or your partner or your family or friend or something where you’re pulling those things out um and giving you new fresh ideas of what you could be doing add in some self-care stuff in there uh that’s a really fun thing to mix it up and enjoy more of the real life and then finally they say slow down take time to think before you speak embrace the quiet use time driving in traffic or waiting in lines to sit with your thoughts they also say listen to a book um and they say slowing down can increase our creativity which can Harvest into other productive Avenues and projects in our life like and I already said at this episode we are going a mile a minute where just go so fast and we’re trying to get so much done and if we do just take a second to really slow down the beauty is that we can get better answers we can restore our energy and those creative juices can come flowing in and help us in other areas of our life or to do unique things with our marketing or our business um and just be a little bit more balanced these things are also going to help prevent burnout so just Embrace Jomo have that Joy of missing out on those activities or those meetings or whatever it is that you’re just not really feeling it follow these six steps from Psychology today to really help fill your cup up find that energy and support you um you know the thing is some people say that Jomo is the secret to finding happiness and I can totally uh agree I found so much happiness in Jomo last week and I’m really excited to continue this process success moving forward it is a process it is something to kind of implement and I’m looking forward to it this episode is coming out in December and you know talk about a crazy busy time right with the holidays so we’re going to different holiday parties we’re hosting parties company parties we’re buying gifts we’re shopping we’re watching movies we’re drinking eggnog we’re doing all the fun things some of us are traveling and um this is a really great time to embrace Jomo I really want you to if you’re feeling the anxiety if you’re feeling the pressure you’re feeling fomo you’re feeling tired um look at what you can cut out what can you miss out on you don’t have to go to everything okay or leave early two or two hours early from the party or go an hour late or just factor in something that’s going to fill up your cup and make sure you have the time for that that can be more important and you can be more whole and present with your family and your friends if you do that for yourself I hope that that you found this help this episode helpful and if you have anything to to share how you enjoy Jomo or what you do to embrace it DM me on Instagram or you can email me cheers Crystal uncorked.com and I will see you on the next to you bye hey real quick if you are a retail store owner I would love to see you at evolve this is my in-person marketing conference happening April 26th and 27th 2023 in Denver Colorado at the Gaylord Rockies which is a stunning venue you get to spend two days with me and my team and keynote speakers as well as other retailers looking to evolve their marketing business and lives it’s an intimate event we only have 200 tickets available and we’ve already sold a lot of those seats already so this event will sell out do not delay because we have special pricing depending on when you hear this and when you sign up and I would love to see you in that room so go to Crystal media co.com slash evolve that’s Crystal media co.com slash evolve to get your ticket and I would love to see you there and thank you for listening to this episode bye